Maybe
by xenevra
Summary: Rory Gilmore is at a crucial moment of her life. Will she be able to become the woman she had always dreamt to be? Can't help it, literati will be there ;
1. Preface

A/N. Hi everyone! This is my first attempt to a fanfic, so i hope i'll get better. I'm not a native english speaker so ... sorry, i'll try to improve it. Feedback will be welcome.

**Preface**

I don't deserve this. I really don't. You shouldn't have come here.

He looked so sad and so full of anger like she has never seen him before. It was not that seventeen-rebel-posed attitude but something much deeper. He did look deceived and really broken.

I don't know why but... I still love him

She could not express with only her words the regret she was feeling. Much more because she knew deep down that she had gone there with a purpose. She could not believe she had thought about using him. What was happening with her?

You should go.

He was not able to look at her, he continued looking at the floor. She would have given anything to hear him curse her, it would be way better than this silent pain.

Ok, bye Jess.

She turned to the door, she didn't want to leave things this way but she didn't want to hurt him more either.

Wait... - She stopped an turned to look at him. He looked direct in her big blue eyes. She looked so sad and lost like a baby girl. He smirked, he never was able to resist to her innocent blue eyes.

I think that in the end I kind of deserve it. You know as in karma, all the bad things i did in the past coming back to kick me in the ass.

They both smiled looking at each other. It was not a happy ending but it was theirs and none wanted it to be something to grieve over for the next years.

Let me get you to your car.

They got out of the shop, walked side by side without a word. The emotions were really getting him but didn't want to end it bitter.

When they got to her car, she look at his eyes with intensity.

I'm sorry...

Don't worry about me Ror. I suppose it was not the right time for us. I think it never was. But that doesn't mean i don't want to see you happy.

- Maybe one day... she said as she kissed him in the cheek, she couldn't express in words that what he was doing meant the world to her. He really had changed, for the better.

He smiled.

Be fine, Gilmore- He said as he left.


	2. Chapter 1 Say goodbye to the lucky girl

You what?

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her mother was talking to her but she wasn't able to understand anything she said. She felt like she was in a parallel planet on the outer space.

We've broken up, Rory. Last week. Luke and I broke up. I wanted to tell you but not in the phone. So here it goes... - she said trying to make a funny face.

There was no reaction in Rory's face, it was a bit paler than usual and her eyes were blank, unable to focus in anything.

Lorelai, as always, felt the need to joke.

At least you shouldn't have to wear that pink lacy lady-like dress i made you for the wedding. Hey, you said it sucked...

It's not funny, mom. Why? How?

I don't walk to talk about it.

You don't want to talk about it? You broke up with your fiancee and you don't want to talk?

No.

After a moment of intense silence between the two, while they were looking at each other's eyes, Rory felt the need to break it.

I'm not going to let you do this... again. With Max I did nothing, I just followed you to that crazy hotel. But I'm an adult now and totally not going to help you hiding from this. It's Luke we're talking about. You know. We LOVE Luke!

Lorelai got her face down. She looked so bad. Maybe she was being too hard with her. But she knew her mother used to hide from the troubles in her love life. And she was not going to help her this time. Not with Luke.

Well, our relationship was not... you know, all of April's issue. He didn't tell me about it until two months after he knew!

OK. I agree. He was wrong. But..

He told me he didn't want me to meet April... I need a man who cares, a man who can share his feelings with me...

But, you know, he loves you. And you love him back.

Sometimes it's not enough.

But you still love him, don't you?

She could not lie to her daughter, not when her big blue eyes were fixed on hers. She knew her too well.

Yeah. But it's over.

You should talk to him, try to fix it. You're adult people, for God's sake, fix it!

I slept with Chris.

*************

She came back to Yale Monday morning. When she got to their apartment, Logan was gone to work.

_Great. I needed some cheering up, some hugs and kisses and he's gone._

She needed to cheer up, the girl weekend with her mother had not been the way it planned. But in it involving junk food, of course.

She left her bag on the bed and begun to take the things she needed for class. Two more weeks and school was over. It would be done and she didn't even know what she was going to do.

When she approached the desk to take a couple of books she needed for class, she saw a big brown envelope with a note:

_This came for you early this morning, Ace._

_ Love You_

She smiled. It was so Logan's leaving her notes like that all over the apartment. _And the envelope, will it be one of Logan's surprises?_

She opened the letter in a rush hoping to find something to make her smile. However, when she saw the times sign in a corner of the paper, she had to sit down. She knew by then that letter was no due to a subscription or a joke, in that letter was her future.

*************

When Logan entered the apartment that evening, he thought there was nobody home. Lights were turned off, there was not music, not Rory at sight reading or dancing to the music or trying to do the dinner that always led to them phoning for take out.

He sighed, she surely had been delayed at the Yale news, surely something involving Paris.

But when he turned the light on, he saw her, sitting on the couch, doing nothing, looking absent.

Ace, what happened? Are you trying to experience living in the dark? Because Finn tried once...

I didn't got accepted at the New York Times.

He rushed to the couch, sitting there right beside her, hugging her.

Sorry, Ace. I didn't know. That's what that letter came for?

When she heard him say that she began to cry. She felt stupid for crying but she had always dreamt of working there and if she was not going there to learn to be a journalist. What would she do? A week ago, she was so happy. Luke was becoming her step-father, she would be in the New York Times becoming a great journalist, but now...

She couldn't stop crying. The more she thought about it, the more she cried.

Logan cupped her face with his hands and looked at her.

Don't cry, Rory. Don't worry. You would become a journalist even if the Times doesn't want you.

How?

You forget who you're talking to?

He said that brow rising and smiling. She tried her best to smile cause she knew he was trying to cheer her up. At least, she had him...

But maybe it's for the better you didn't get that place in NY, maybe you could not even go there.

Why?

I didn't want to tell you before, I didn't want to ruin the surprise. Don't mind now.

He made a pause.

I'm getting a job in California. A new communications co that needs to get going. So, you're getting a journalist job after all. And I've found a very beautiful house, in a residential area. You'll love it, Ace.

She looked at him in shock. She couldn't believe he was saying that to her. Even more, saying that to her looking really happy.

So you decided my future? Do I even get a say on this?

She raised up. She was really really angry. She was crushed, her expectations broken, those she had had since she... since always and he was giving her a Californian house, a bimbo job and an OC life style. He did even knew her!

What?

You didn't even think I could reach the job, did you?

Don't know. Yes. I mean I wanted that for you but I think this is way better. We'll be working together... Is not that what we wanted?

No, Logan. I want a life of my own. I've worked really hard my entire life to have it. Don't you dare?

Sorry Ace. Let's talk about it, we can fix it. I only want to make you happy.

Do you want me to be happy, but you want to do it your way! I can't talk about it right now. I need some time alone, to process, to think what's next.

She got her bag and took some clothes from the closet.

Come on Rory. What are you doing?

She stopped packing and looked at him. She was angry and nervous even when she sounded so quiet.

I'm gonna get some time alone, Logan. Just a couple of days.

But...

He couldn't understand her. He had offered her something every girl he knew would die for and she was leaving?

Don't worry Logan. I'll come back.

As she went to the door, she said:

And, for the record, this is a fight, I'm not breaking up. That's not a pass for you to sleep around with every girl I know.

That's not fair, Rory.

She turned back and saw Logan's face. He was sad and trying not to cry. Aw, god, she loved him. But...

Sorry Logan. I know- she smiled at him sadly- Just a couple of days, ok? Then we'll talk.

She kissed him on the cheek and left without even knowing where she was running to.

Love you, Ace.

*************

After she got out the apartment, she began to hesitate. What was she doing? Where was she going? There was really a reason for running away? She wasn't able to think clearly, much less do a pro/co list. She got into her car and drove away, without really going nowhere. She only knew she needed to get away for some time and clear her mind.

Without even being aware, she was in Stars Hollow, in front of her mother's house, in front of her house. She had only left this morning but it seemed so far...

She got out of the car and entered the house. At least, here she could be on her own. She was glad her mother was out of town all week on some business meeting. She didn't feel like sharing her feelings with anybody right now... even her mom.

Once in the house, she went directly to her old bedroom. Her mom hadn't changed anything: there stood the Yale banners on the wall, those her mother had hanged up for her, the bed where she had dreamt about her future, where she had thought about Dean, and then Jess, the one where she had made love for the very first time. She smiled at the memory. It was a huge mistake. Now she knew it. Deep down she'd always know it. Just felt too lonely and insecure then. Old Rory would have never slept with a married guy. Maybe it was there she lost her path. She didn't really know.

She looked at the shelves on the wall. There was an old copy of the Fontainhead next to Moby Dick. And at the shelves' end it was her old copy of The Howl, the one where he had written down in. Her heart ached. She remembered the first time he had met him. She had remembered all the little things in their relationship like a million times back then. She had loved him, that's for sure. And he had hurt her. Now, he had cared about her. And she had hurt him back. But she couldn't take back what she said in Philadelphia. She loved Logan. And she didn't even know why. And right now she wished she didn't.

At that, all came back to her, the feeling of her world falling apart. She curled up in bed and cried until she finally got asleep.


	3. Chapter 2 Welcome to Stars Hollow!

She woke up at 8 in the morning feeling miserable, she had swollen eyes and she had slept in her clothes.

That's not you, Rory. Anything's right. Hasn't been in a really long time. But you need to fix it.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

Aw, god. Now I'm talking alone. I'm going crazy. Okay. I'm going to get dressed and go Luke's for a coffee.

She went to the bathroom and took a long and hot shower. Then she took her back and put on jeans and a plain blue t-shirt. She was too tired of her lately posh clothes.

When she entered the diner, she saw Luke. He was backwards to the door, making coffee. Ah, it smelled delicious.

Hi Luke- she said in a shy voice, as remembered Luke's and Lorelai break-up.

He turned back in astonishment.

Rory? What? I mean. What are you doing here?  
She smiled. It was so Luke's that kind of reaction. He was one of the carest person she had ever known but it was so difficult for him to show his feelings.

Mm. I'm happy you're soo glad to see me, because I'm really really starving.

Okay, so what do you want to eat?

I want pancakes with a lot of chocolate syrup, and eggs with bacon and french toasts. And a blueberry muffin. And lots of coffee.

Stop. It's that all for you? Your mother is...?

No, it's just for me. Mom is at a business meeting, I don't know where.

And you think you're going to finish all that food on your own? Or you're planning making food donations today?

No.

So... He clenched in the bar.

I didn't have dinner... she tried her best to make a hunger face.

That's okay. Ten minutes and food is coming.

*************

Logan.

Huntzberger! Where's Rory?

I don't know Paris. Have you tried phoning her?

Maybe even without a phone she'd hear you. He was sitting in his office trying to read a document, the one he had been trying to read for a couple of hours. He wasn't able to concentrate. When Rory left the night before, he had drunk himself to sleep. He was confused, he didn't understand her. What did she expect from him? And now he had to listen to Paris shouting at the phone?

What have you done to her this time? Have you slept with your secretary? Because it's soo cliche...

Paris! I don't know where she is. She said she was taking a few days off, alone. Call her!

He hunged up. It was enough. He put two pills on a glass of water and sent them all down his throat.

*************

Rory couldn't believe the way she was feeling. Her books were all around the table in the dining room as in old days. She almost felt the touch of her old uniform. But she felt right, better than in a long time. It was a difficult moment to have such a break down. Her finals were on a week and she was in Stars Hollow. She had her phone on her side of the table. She had to turn it off when Paris started phoning. She messaged her briefly telling she was okay and turned it off.

She must have been very concentrate because when she realised it was dark outside. It was 9 and she had only had a sandwich for lunch. Rory was considering if she was ordering Indian take out even if it was possible her mother noticed the scent even after a week, when the doorbell rang.

She got scared, she didn't expect any visit. Babette had come by before noon, and left after checking she was ok, had food and was studying for her finals.

She opened the door and there stood Caesar with several bags.

Caesar! What are you doing here? Is there something wrong?

No. It's ok. Luke asked me to bring you food on my way home. He said something about not letting you eat that disgusting Indian food.

She smiled.

Thanks Caesar. I'll make sure to eat all and thank Luke tomorrow.

She took the bags and entered the house. It was a huge amount of food but it all looked delicious! She turned on the Tv and surfed the channels looking for some absurd film to watch while dining.

*************

Good morning Luke!

It was her third day in Stars Hollow and she felt like she has never left.

Good morning! Coffe and pancakes?

Yup. And chocolate chips muffins. And put all to go.

Eh?

I'm gonna pay Lane a visit. I'm sure she will need some sugar to get through... life.

And I'm sure she'll thank you for that. Last time I saw her she told me her mother was making all of her meals.

Oh, my god. That's an emergency!

She got all the food and went to Lane's house. Zack opened the door and helped her with bags.

Have you become a deliverer?

No.

Stealing Lane's job?

No, just bringing her breakfast, sugary breakfast!

I heard breakfast?

Lane was standing by the door with her hand in her back. She looked big!

Oh, Lane...

I know, I know. I look like Moby Dick, don't I?

Don't say that! You look gorgeous!

Ok. A beautiful and big Korean whale.

Rory tried to hug her but it was really difficult due to Lane´s grown up belly. Their hug looked so awkward that both of them broke to laugh.

Lane started to get food out of bags. Zack had to work so he left letting the two girls alone.

Thank you for breakfast. My mom is killing me with her healthy menus. I swear if I drink even one more cup of soy milk I'm going nuts. How do you ever milk soy? Can you even picture it?

Don't worry, I'll talk to Luke into making some kind of food trafficking system for you.

Oh, getting back to old illegal ways!

They finished eating their breakfast in silence. It was a long time since they last were together alone.

Sorry Lane.

What for?

For not being here. That stupid quarrel with mom and getting away from you, from here...

You apologised before, remember? You were here.

I know.

So, Rory. What are you doing here now?

I just needed some time off. Too much pressure, finals and all that.

I don't buy it, Rory. I know you. If you're not ready to talk about it now you don't have to.

She sighed, Lane knew her too well to try to hide herself.

Just some bad time. Logan and I had some quarrell and all of mom and Luke's break up is getting to me too. Needed to clear my mind.

And you came to Stars Hollow? Remember, once we had a psychiatrist and he had to get away of this crazy town. To much!

They both smiled.

Logan wanted me to move in with him to California and get me a job in one of her father's paper.

Lane looked at her waiting her to finish, questioning.

And I don't want that kind of life. I tried once and it didn't work. Not wanting to become little Emily Gilmore anymore.

I understand. And you told him?

Yeah. But I think he didn't understand it. He just couldn't believe it. So here I am.


	4. Chapter 3 Old habits die hard

"I just can't believe I'm doing this again". That was what Lorelai Gilmore was thinking as she opened the window. It wasn't that the window was too high from the street but wearing a black knee long skirt and high heels(which in no way could be conceived as going-out-of-a-window king of shoes) made it the worst idea she'd had in a while.

But she REALLY wanted to run away, so without giving it further thoughts, she took off her shoes and went through the window quite easily but falling miserably on the street at the end. So, there she was a grown-up woman in her thirty-someting, fortys just around the corner, sat down on the streets sexy, expensive high heels on her hands and bare naked feet. She couldn't help but laugh at herself. "You're getting too old for this, Lorelai", she told to herself as she got up putting on her shoes.

"Lorelai?"

She lifted her head to face the stranger who has called her and then... she saw him.

"You?", she looked at him atonished.

"Suppose so. Nice to see you too"

She smiled, "Hi".

"Seems that you're getting Town's Hoodlum Award this year, aren't yo.u?", he paused briefly, "It used to be mine"

"Don't flatter yourself. It was mine before you were even born"

Both of them smiled. He just slightly. She was really surprised, atonished in fact. There he was, Jess Mariano. And what was more amazing, he was given her a entire sentence, he was being civil, even better, he was joking.

"Soo... What are you doing here?"

"Me? Just passing by", he looked at her in disbelief, "I was at that café, you know, and I thought it'd a good idea to take a walk so I got out..."

"Off the window? You know, we have doors here in Philly"

She shaked her head, amused. She loved someone that could go on wither her banter.

"Doors? Noo. So, last year's fashion... Ok, ok. If I tell you that I was bit by a spider and I was trying my superhero powers, will you believe me?, she said rolling her eyes in that funny way she used to and he couldn't help but smile at the memory of another pair of similar blue eyes.

Suddenly, she stopped talking looking behind him.

"Don't say anything, just follow my lead"

Jess didn't argue, he knew better than to try to say no to a Gilmore. In a couple of minutes, a man in his forties appeared.

"Hi Lorelai. Where were you? I was looking for you"

"Stan! Sorry, I just got distracted"

All of this seemed weird enough on its own but when Jess really began to freak out was when Lorelai got really close to him and put his arm around her waist. But, as he was told, he didn't say anything. The so-called Stan looked shocked though.

"I thought you were coming to have dinner with us"

Jess smirked, that "us" clearly sounded like a "me"."Poor Stan, he didn't stand a chance", he thought to himself.

"Sorry Stan. I got out and met this old friend of mine. And we were, you know, just catching up", she said, still holding Jess' arm to her. She eally was using all her charm there.

"He doesn't look old to me"

She stayed in silence for a minute. That was crearly not working. And she soo wanted to get rid of him. So, she put on her serious face then and her best puppy eyes glare.

"Ok. We've been caught sweetie", she said looking at Jess, "Better tell him the truth"

"So... you two... are like... together?"

"Well, we had that really big fight last month and I left. But now that she's here I don't think I'm letting her go, if you know what I mean", Jess said looking at Stan.

He clearly became unconfortable.

"Then, I'd better leave you alone. Bye Lorelai. Hope we'll see each other again in another convention".

"Sure, we will. Thanks Stan. Apologize to everybody for me, will you?"

He nodded as he turned to leave as quickly as he could.

Once Stan had gone, Lorelai got away from Jess. He really looked amused, what really got in her nerves.

"So, now, how many the chances are that you tell nobody about this".

He smirked at her: "Don't know. Do you really think we should keep our relationship in secret, Mrs. Robinson?".

She rolled her eyes. Obviously, he wasn't to give her the easy way.

A/N. Hi! It's been the longest time but here I am. It's being really difficult to write this story and no matter how I try it's always better on my mind! Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 4 Monosyllabic boy is long gone

A/N. Hi everyone! I hope someone likes the story. It's more difficult that I'd though to write it but I'll keep trying. I know, it seems like I don't know where the story is going but I do ;). Soon there will be Rory again. Thank you for reading it and enjoy.

It's just curious the way time manages to change all things and turn your life upside down. Three years ago she could have killed him for breaking Rory's heart and now she was walking down the streets of Philadelphia with him.

After all the joking and bantering about the "Stan situation" he suggested taking a coffee and how a Gilmore would refuse a coffee? No way! So, after ten minutes of awkwardness and silence as their past haunted them, they stopped by the door of an old style building. The sign said "Old Nelly Café". They entered and sat by one of the tables near the window.

If she didn't know they weren't in Stars Hollow she'd thought they were at Luke's. So, when she saw the waiter, a woman in her fifties, wearing not other thing but jeans and a blue flannel shirt and a baseball cup, she knew she had to be dreaming.

"Jess, punch me!"

"What?"

"This is a dream, isn't it? It has to be. You being really nice to me and now... Luke's a woman?"

"Jess, is your friend Ok? She looks scared as hell!"

He laughed. Lorelai thought that it was the first time she'd ever seen him laugh.

"Don't worry, Nelly. She's Ok. She's just... surprised and in need of a coffee, a good one".

"Yes, sorry. Wow" Lorelai smiled at Nelly "I didn't think there were such nice cafés here in Philly..."

"Thanks" Nelly softened at the compliment, her café was like a son to her. "My grandma opened it sixty years ago and since then, we hadn't closed a single day. I'm bringing you a cup so you can taste best coffee in town".

In a couple of minutes Nelly came back with two big mugs with coffee and put then on the table.

"Here you have the coffee. Call me if you want a refill or something to eat".

They thanked Nelly before she went to serve another costumers.

"She seems nice".

"Yes, she is. I come here everyday to eat, have coffe or just talk to Nelly. She's great and have a lot of stories to tell" He looked around "And here feels like home so..." He shrugged.

Lorelai looked at him smiling sweetly.

"By home you mean Stars Hollow?"

He smiled.

"I know. I didn't like it and I never really fit there but I can't help thinking about it as home. Well, after all, there's Luke and..." He run his hand through his hair in a way he only did when he was nervous.

"I'm glad"

"About what?"

"You finding home and becoming like this. And you'd really fit in Stars Hollows by now, believe me".

"Do you think I'm that crazy?" He said in his most offended tone.

"You're changed"

He looked at her in a skeptical way.

"Really. Back then you were..."

"A jerk"

"Well... Yes. But you were a teenager. I realized I was not fair with you back then. I didn't give you the chance."

"Don't apologise. It was my fault. I tried but I couldn't help being what I was at the time, an angered kid. I needed some time on my own to realize and find my way."

"And you did great, by the way."

"Thank you. I never thought I'd get such a great praise from Lorelai Gilmore." He said, obviously in a bantering mood.

"You deserve it. I never got to thank you for bringing Rory back."

"What?"

"She told me. You yelled at her for dropping out of Yale."

"She'd figured it out on her own. She's a smart girl."

"But, somehow, you made her realize her mistake and I'll never thank you enough for that."

He nodded.

"So, how about you treating me to dinner? Nelly makes the best burgers in town."ac

Nelly came back with two big burgers, both with great sides of potatoes. Lorelai felt like in Heaven.

"Here you go."

"Thanks Nelly."

"You have to eat properly. Lately I've only seen you here drinking coffee. You're working too much."

"Don't worry. I eat properly enough. I can cook, remember?"

She looked at him. She didn't seem too sure.

"You know him well, don't you?" Lorelai asked out of curiosity.

"Since the first day he came to Philadelphia and entered the café." She said, addressing to Lorelai. "And even more, my daughter had a crush on him."

"Really?" Lorelai smiled as she saw Jess getting uncomfortable. "So, we have that in common. He used to date my daughter."

"Your daughter?" Nelly said shook. "I thought you sere kind of his new girl friend, special friend or whatever the young people call it these days."

After dinner they were wandering the streets just breaking up the silence to talk about Stars Hollow and the updates on its particular inhabitants' lives.

"Hamburgers were great, by the way. Do you think it is because of Rocky beating on the meat?" Lorelai had wanted to say that for a while now.

Jess rolled his eyes.

"I don't think I can stand anymore Stallone references."

"Okay, okay. You're really good at bantering. Good opponent."

"And I've realized that you're much more fun than I'd though you'd be. Much more like Rory..."

That led to a weird silence. He looked away for a moment before changing the subject.

"So... What now? Do you want to go back to your hotel or gonna go for some drinks."

"Drinks, of course. If you don't have other plans..."

"No plans. Just cold pizza and beer at home. And maybe a book."

"So... No girlfriend."

He looked her in the eye, suddenly getting serious.

"No girlfriend." He looked away "In fact, I haven't had one since I was eighteen."


	6. Chapter 5 Drinks and Confessions

A/N It's been a long time. This chapter was really hard to write and I'm not that satisfied with it but here it is. Dialogues are hard to write and characters are a little too aoc. I'm changin description of the story as well, as a literati I can't help it, Jess it's gonna be in the story wanted or not. ;)

They entered a dark pub. There were candles on every table and black and white pictures over the walls, most of them showing jazz musicians. Jess went to the counter and asked for two beers at the bartender. It was early and there was not much people. So they sat down at a table at the end of the pub. They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, just sipping from theirs beers. Lorelai was the first to talk.

"Sorry... I didn't know you..."

"Don't apologise. I'm not saying I'd become a saint. Just don't go serious. Maybe it's not the time."

"When you were dating her... back then... I didn't know you felt so deeply about her."

He smirked.

"I didn't know either. Or didn't want to know anyways. But it's a fact."

She looked at him.

"Is?"

He knew what she was really asking. And strange as it may seems, he was tired of hiding... He passed her hand through his hair and looked at her.

"I still feel something for her. A big something..." He laughed "Sometimes I think it's quite an obsession."

"She told me... you know. About that time here."

"I'd guess. Suppose she's still with that..."

"Logan? Yes, she's still with him." She rolled her eyes. "And believe me, I don't like him at all."

That made Jess laugh out really hard.

"What?"

"You haven't liked any of her boyfriends. So that's not really a surprise."

She looked shocked. Then she started smiling as well.

"But... I liked Dean..."

"Come on... Rory told me you didn't like it either at the beginning. And you sure didn't like me."

She smiled.

"Touche."

He took his beer from the table and looked away.

"And she loves him, right? She told me so. So, I hope he just makes her happy."

"You're a good guy, Jess. After all..."

There were more silence minutes. Both of them fighting ghosts from past. This time Jess was the first to speak.

"And... what about you?"

"Me? What do you mean?"

"You... and Luke."

She smiled sadly. She wasn't sure if she was ready to talk about that.

"Barman!" She said loudly, taking her beer up. "Time to stronger booze."

They drank their drinks in silence for a good quarter. Just when she was with her second Long Island Tea was when she begun talking.

"You must despise me..."

"Why?"

She looked at him, he really looked surprised.

"Luke didn't tell you...?"

"Yes. All of it." She looked down. "He was... you know pretty crashed. He told me on the phone that you two broke up and I got to convince him to come to visit."

"And you're not mad?"

"At you? Of course not. You're grown up and both had made mistakes. You know, no judging here." He smiled at her. She really seemed in need of comprehension.

"Even Rory was mad at me. For... cheating on Luke" She covered her face with her hands. "God, I'm stupid."

"I think... you know... sex is totally overrated..."

Lorelai looked at him, a questioning glare in her blue eyes.

He continued like he was thinking aloud.

"You feel lonely and miserable and you meet someone. And just need to forget, feel something, whatever... That has nothing to do with love."

He looked at her as he had just remembered what they were talking about.

"I'm not saying it's OK. Just that is... human, I guess."

"But there's no turning back."

"You love him? Your ex?"

"No. It was just a stupid thing, the stupidest thing to do."

"And you still love Luke? Are you willing to solve your problems with him? To fight for him?"

"Don't think it's gonna change anything."

"But you'd do it. Try to solve whatever that led you to this situation. To fight even if he won't talk to you right now?"

She remained a minute in silence, balancing what Jess was really asking her. Did she love Luke over all those things? Was she decided to really commit to that relationship like never before?

"Any day."

He smiled gladly seeing her face of determination.

"He waited for you the longest time. Now it's time for you to stay there for him however he need you. And then maybe time will change things on your behalf."

They stayed a moment in silenced, sipping their drinks.

"That what your waiting for? Time changing on your behalf?"

"Me?" He shook his head. "Not anymore. She doesn't love me. But you... Luke is deceived, disappointed, sad and his self esteem is at its lowest but he still loves you, madly." He smiled at her friendly but with a sad look in his eyes. She couldn't believe he had so deep feelings inside him, he was so young. But she gave him the credit for what he was doing for her. He was giving her support, just what she needed. And she had a goal. No more time for tears, Lorelai Gilmore was not the one to stay home crying when she could go and get that what she want. And getting back with Luke was what she wanted more than anything in the world.


	7. Chapter 6 Game is Over

A/N Hello everyone. Today I have a new chapter and we're coming back to Rory. These changes may seem a bit strange. In my head they make sense, but just in my head. ;)

Thanx to all people for reading, setting alerts and reviewing.

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It's been almost a month. Despite all the predictions, time away from Logan had gone away quickly. Finals time was over in a heartbeat and after that Logan had gone on a business travel. She had only been in the apartment a couple of times, just to get clothes so most of her things were already at Paris'. She've been there, looking at the door with her keys on her hand for a while. Suddenly, she decided that knocking would be much more appropriated given the circumstances.

Logan opened the door, he seemed surprised. He was wearing a blue suit and the tie loose. "God, blue always made him look kind of sweet. He looked tired as well. This was going to be really hard."

"Come on, Rory. You could've used your own keys." He said shaking his head. He opened the door and let her enter the room.

"So..."

Rory was really nervous, she didn't want to do this but she knew deep down it was time.

"Logan..."

She couldn't go on. He sat down on the sofa and sipped from glass that Rory knew it would be whiskey.

"Rory, we've been delaying this for a month. It's time. You were the one who wasn't sure, who wanted time apart. I love you, Rory, I want us together."

He stand up and got closer to her.

"I was thinking about us all the time the last month. And... I want you to marry me."He said as he took a little box from his jacket pocket.

Rory was still quiet. She looked paler than before. The all the things she waited today, Logan's proposing was last she'd think of.

"Come on, Rory. Say something."

She looked him in the eye. It was time, now or never, rip off like a bandage.

"Logan, I love you, you know I do. But I don't want to marry you or anyone for that matter."

"I don't mind Rory. It don't have to be now. I just want to be with you, settle down, anything else will come on time."

"But I don't want to settle right now. I've just finished college. I want to travel, I want to get a job..."

"You could all of that with me in California."

"I think it's time to break up." He looked at her astonished and for the first time he remained quiet. "Logan, you want to have that kind of life and it's not your fault you thought it was I wanted too, it was my own for not telling you. I love you but we want different things on life."

"Bullshit! If you want to break up, do it but don't keep giving me excuses. You were perfectly happy with your life until he appeared..."

"Who?"

"You know who Rory. That jerk, that Hemingway wanna-be. Were you sleeping with him while I was gone?" He was shouting angrily now.

"I can't believe what you're saying. You accusing me of cheating. That's funny, Logan. And no, Jess is not the reason. I'm tired of going out and waste time doing stupid things with your friends..."

"They're also your friends."

"God, Logan. I don't want to get mad. It was fun but I'm tired. And I love you but I've made my decision: it's over."

He sat down on the sofa and began to pour more whiskey on his glass.

"Logan, say something."

"You've made perfectly clear what you want. I don't want to say anything else."

"I don't want leave it this way."

"What did you expect, Rory? Breaking up and me saying that we could still be friends? For once, you're not gonna be the nice girl. You break up but I'm not giving you the easy way."

"I'm sorry to hear that Logan, because I've loved you really much" She couldn't help her tears starting to fall. "I hope someday you realize that I never wanted to hurt you. But it's my life and this is the way I wanted to be." He didn't even look at her, rested on the sofa, sipping from his glass.

"Goodbye, Logan." And then she left, much more than a relationship.


	8. Chapter 7 Strange Things

A/N. Hi everyone, a new chapter. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for reading.

She felt weird. Awakened in a strange room with a loud headache and a disgusting taste in her mouth. She hadn't had that feeling for ages. And what was making it even more awkward was the fact that she was waking up, hangover, in her daughter's ex-boyfriend, the one she had pestered about in the past. And she didn't even remember how she'd got in bed. She ordered her clothes, that were rugged from sleeping on them.

She opened the door, hoping Jess wouldn't be at sight so she could make a discreet exit. But there he was, sat on the couch with a cup of coffee on the table next to it. He was writing furiously on a black notebook and seemed really concentrated. She didn't know how to approach him after all what happened the night before. She was considering what to say when he suddenly looked at her.

"Good Morning! Slept well?"

"Ah, well... good." She looked at her feet. "I guess I should be going."

"Such a rush! You should take some coffee at least."

She hesitated but coffee was always tempting for a Gilmore.

"OK. I'd be glad to accept some coffee." She said , there was no reason to not be kind to whoever it was that offered coffee.

He went to the little kitchen and, after a couple of minutes, he came back with a big mug of coffee and a plate with a couple of french toasts.

"Your breakfast, madam."

"You didn't have to...Coffee was enough."

"A Gilmore not wanting food, really? Come on, you need it. An take this too." He said putting two pills on the table.

"Thank you." She said taking the pills and drinking the coffee. "This coffee is really really good."

"I guess I learned something in Stars Hollow after all."

They both smiled.

"I feel a litlle... strange."

"No. A Gilmore, I can't believe it."

She smiled the biggest smile.

"It's ironic. A couple of years ago I shouted at you for taking a beer from my fridge an now I woke up totally hungover in your room... I should be ashamed" She take a bit from her toast. "But I don't."

"You don't have to. After all, you did see my worst times too."

They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes. Lorelai having her breakfast and Jess sipping from his coffee.

"The breakfast was really good. I feel a little better now. I should be going, go to the hotel pick up my things before they overcharge me."

"OK." They both stood up and went to the door. "You know, if you need something, I'm here."

She nodde her head.

"Thank you. I really appreciate it."

They both stood by the door in silence. She opened the door and, when she was about to leaver, she turned around.

"You should come and have that beer at home next time you're in Stars Hollow."

He smiled.

"Be sure that I'll do it."

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Rory was at Paris' enjoying one of those rare moments alone and quite that cherished some much, specially since she was again living with Paris.

She thought about her mother. They talked everyday but their relationship was not at its best. She know it was her fault, she had been hard on her mom. But she realized that she was not the one to judge. After all she had gone to Philly and tried to cheat on Logan out of revenge. And worst of all she really hurt Jess. Sometimes she thought about what had happened to her, she really wanted to come back to being that girl she was in Stars Hollow when she couldn't even think about hurting someone. It'd been a week since she broke up with Logan and she hadn't told her mom yet. She took her cell with decision.

"How do you think Paul Anka would look like on a tux?" She was used to her mother craziness but she couldn't help but smile to herself.

"Don't know. He's not that elegant... although he had a kind of rat pack thing going on."

"Exactly! That's what I thought. After all Paul Anka is a tuxedo kind of men, isn't he?"

"Having nightmares again about two Paul Ankas?"

"Not really. In fact, last time I had a great dream, it involved George Clooney, you'd never believe..."

"Mom."

"Well, I guess you don't know call to hear about my dreams... Such a pity. You've got your graduation dress? I hope so because I've been having crazy Emily phone calls. She seems to think that you're unable to dress yourself." Rory rolled her eyes, her mother could rant for hours, it usually amused it but now was getting impatient.

"Mom, we should talk." She interrupted Lorelai.

"You sound serious, kid."

"Yeah. I can go home this weekend, if you're not busy."

"Of course, you come, we'll do girl things. It's been a while. Is Logan coming with you?"

"That's what I want to talk about."

"What about you come here today and have lunch and then stay the weekend."

"Aren't you busy at the inn?"

"I can make time for you. I'll let Michel do everything, so he'll have a real reason to be mad for once."

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It was one pm when Rory entered the dinner. She was really surprised when her mother told her to meet on Luke's. They hadn't talk, really really talk, about him since the breakup. She entered and sat down at the counter.

"Hey Rory, a cup of coffee?"

"Hi, Luke. Of course, thanks."

"So are you visiting?"

"Yes. I'm waiting her for mom. We agreed to meet here." She looked at him kindly. "Is it OK with you?"

He leaned in the counter.

"Of course, you're my best costumers after all."

"Come on Luke, if you're umconfortable, we'll go to Weston's or anywhere."

"Your mother has been acting weird lately." He said out of the blue.

She gave her the look.

"Weirder than even? She's been coming here every day and talking at me as always even the first days when I didn't even look at her. We kind of had a conversation..."

"I didn't know. We hadn't talked much lately."

"The fact is that things between us are better. Friendly."

She smiled at him. She was really glad they were fixing their relationship. He did talk about friends but it was clear that he still loved her mom and she was happy for them.


	9. Chapter 8 Going Home

The bell sounded lightly as Lorelai opened the door and entered the dinner. She saw Rory sitting by the counter chatting animatedly with Luke. She smiled to herself, she liked the way things were developing with Luke, step by step but without a pause. She went directly to the counter greeting the other people in the dinner.

"Cheater!" She said sitting on the stool beside Rory.

"What?"

"You're having coffee without me, your poor and old mother."

"Mom, do you realise I have coffee everyday without you?"

"Yes. But this is different. It's Luke's coffee, you can't have Luke's coffee without me. It's the rule." Luke and Rory both rolled their eyes amused.

"Luke, please, be gentle with this old lady and bring me some coffee." She said in her best flattering smile and batting her eyelashes.

"Maybe, you shouldn't take coffee. I've heard a high fiber diet and tea are more recommended for old age people."

Lorelai smiled at Luke, knowing he was trying to mock her even when his face was really serious.

"Come on Luke, you know I won't stop until you give me coffee."

He shook his head and turned to the kitchen. He was trying to act as if mad but it was easy to see that he was smiling.

"So... What did you want to talk about? You got me worried. Is it bad?"

Rory looked down.

"I've been not telling you a lot of things lately, mom. I'm sorry. I just wanted to figure it out on my own."

"Don't worry, honey. I understand." Lorelai looked at her daughter kindly.

"I was here while you were at your convention. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I needed to be alone."

"I knew it."

"You knew?"

"Come on, Rory. This is Stars Hollow. You can even wash your hair without people knowing. Did you forget about Babbette and Miss Patty?"

"But you didn't ask me..."

"I was waiting for you to tell me."

"It's Logan. We had that huge fight and I needed to get away from everything to take some... perspective."

"What happened?"

"I didn't get accepted at the New York Times."

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry. But you'll do right, you'll find another journal and then the pretentious people who work on the Times will have to get on their knew so you'll get a job in their nauseous journal." Rory smiled at her mother's rant.

"But, what have Logan to do with that?"

"He told me it wasn't that important. After all he had it all planned for us, for me. Moving to California, having a big mansion. He even had our house chosen, for god's sake!"

"What? But he can't decide for you. And The Times is your dream. What did he think you'd do in California? Going to social parties? Work for the California branch of the DAR?"

Suddenly, Lorelai shut up. She didn't want Rory to get mad at her and Logan had always caused that effect between them.

"I know. What was I supposed to do? He said I could a get a job on a newspaper, after all he's a Huntzberger, they own almost every paper!"

Rory was getting angrier each moment.

"Calm down honey."

"So, I told him I needed time and space and moved in with Paris."

"Paris? Really?" Lorelai smiled. Rory smiled too, knowing her mother was trying to cheer her up.

"So... To cut a long story short... when we talk again last week, he asked me to marry him."

"He.. what?" Lorelai was getting really worried now.

"But I'd made my decision...I broke up with him."

Lorelai's eyes got bigger than ever. She definitely wasn't expecting that.

"Are you sure, hon? Maybe you should take time to think..."

"No, I'm sure. I love him but that's not the kind of life I want now... or ever. I've always wanted a life of my own, and that what I'm getting."

Lorelai smiled kindly at her daughter. She had on her face the same decisiveness that when, being a kid, said she'd be the next Christine Amampour.

"And how are you?"

"Sad, really really sad. Sad like I'd eat tons of chocolate ice cream and a whole bag of marshmallows. It comes in waves, you know, I'm feeling Ok, all perfect, sing sing happy and then I remember something we used to do together and it tears me down."

"I know, hun. I know it's a cliché but time will heal it, I promise." She said hugging Rory. "Maybe it's time to attack that ice cream now."

Next morning Rory woke up early in her old bedroom. Whenever she slept there she couldn't help remembering her teenage self, memories of Dean and Jess altogether, mixed with Logan's newer ones. The fact that she knew she was doing the right thing didn't make it less painful. But her mom was right, time will heal it and now she had to focus on her future. The Times didn't want her, Ok, but there was still a lot of options for a Yale graduate. Graduation wasn't in a couple of days, even though she felt the urge to get up and beginning the job hunt.

And that what Rory was doing when Lorelai entered the room to propose going to Luke's for breakfast.

"Hey, hun, what you're doing so early?"

"Good morning. I'm looking for jobs and filling applications."

"Don't need to rush. You still have all summer." She smiled at the thought of Rory being herself again. "So, are you up to breakfast at Luke's? I'm really really hungry and I heard Miss Patty and Babette he was trying a new pancakes recipe."

Rory frowned.

"I'm not the one to say no to Luke's coffee but, mom, what's with Luke? You were avoiding him and now you're going to the dinner on daily basis."

"I made a decision."

"What?"

"You were right. I did it all wrong. We had troubles but I should've said something, not run away like I didn't care and not cheating on him. Maybe it's too late but I'll be there for him, no matter what. He was there for me all those years..."

"Wow! I'm glad, mom, really glad for you. And how is he taking it?"

"The first day he went away when I entered the dinner. It took me a full week having him talking to me. But now, we're kind of good I guess. Not a love-of-my-life kind of good, friendly good."

"You seem totally different. Seem I miss or who got you conversed?" Rory was really surprised but very happy her mother was finally facing her fears and her mistakes and go for love.

"A really good and, I have to say, unexpected adviser."

"Miss Patty?" Lorelai shook her head. "Medium?" Again. "Not Emily Gilmore I guess".

"Ewe! That Lorena Bobbit would be a better love adviser..."

"So...?"

"What?"

"Who?" said Rory rolling her eyes.

"Jess."

"Yes, what?" She smiled, Rory looked totally lost.

"So now, you're using my joke, you used to dislike it."

"Joke..." Realization hit her. "Jess?"

"Yes."

"Mom..."

"You know I can't help using this and now you..."

"When?"

"Remember the convention?" Rory nodded. "It was in Philadelphia. We run into each other by chance and we talked."

Rory looked at her in disbelief.

"Talked?"

"Yeah. Really talked, as in heart-to-heart-bestest friends kind of talking."

"I guess you like him now?"

"He's becoming one of my favourite and he even knows how to make great coffee..." Lorelai got serious. "He gave me hope and he seems to know Luke much better than I thought."

"How was he? Was he...?"

"Fine. He's not mad at you Rory, I'm sure."

"He told you so?"

"No in so many words but he wants you to be happy so..."

"I was so stupid. He was really nice to me and I..."

"Rory, you made a mistake. It's not the end of the world. He's fine." She nodded.

"Ok. Five minutes, I got dressed and go to Luke's."

"There's no woman who can change in five minutes, you said yourself."

Lorelai smiled and went out to her bedroom.

When Rory was alone, she took a paper and a pen and remembering a time that seemed long away began writing.

"Dear Jess..."


End file.
